Hypocrite’s Forgiveness
Truth is I wasn't ready for the business of “forgiveness”.
At first I wasn't prepared to end this; maybe it's senseless
Because I witnessed you abandon your kindred and neglect your children.
Bitterness choked my heart as jealousy does a mistress.
My anger and clamor more obvious than a room full of elephants.
I could cool my jets if my soul could sense your benevolence...
You don't love me.
Truth is I wasn't ready for this instant “forgiveness”.
Memories were endless of you just tearing my britches.
Forcing yourself on me clipping what was left of my innocence.
I figured stolen goods can't be replenished
In a world where secrets are hushed and diminished.
Every time I see you, film in my bloodstream replayed those images.
I've had my share of licentiousness but this was forbidden...
You hurt me.
Truth is I'm not a great witness to “forgiveness”.
Self-hatred stabs my wounds, already deeper than trenches.
False humility degrades the black skin I was given.
Media’s inventions depict black men as filthy and animalistic
But I’m different! Artistic! I graduated twice, so I’m not a statistic!
I’m not like either of you two, or the crimes you committed.
Yet I arrested you both, presenting you with life sentences.
I locked you up in the prison of my unforgiveness.
I'm no different.
Truth is you may never ever come to repentance.
You may stay hidden and never actually admit it.
Don’t think for a millisecond that I’ll ever declare you acquitted.
Because I am evidence of your deeds, I’ll never forget it.
Truth is I’ve been livid, and I want you chained in my prison.
But not anymore…
As much as I wanted to keep you chained in my prison
Apart of me wants God’s mercy to cover your crimson...
Truth is mercy has covered all of my crimson
And I’ve been experiencing peace where i’m living
Though I’m livid, I have been forgiven.
May I somehow begin to free you two from my hypocrite’s prison.
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Written by Devans Eli. Copyright 2023 by Devans Eli. All rights reserved.